Children are hilarious

And even more hilarious are those expecting a baby brother or baby sister. My son thinks he can see the baby in my belly button, and likes to shout at the belly button as if it goes straight to the baby.

The other night he hugged my belly and said, "I love the baby... And I love my new underpants."

Return from involuntary hiatus

This blog has been on hiatus because I've spent the last two weeks in the bathroom throwing up.

It's difficult to imagine returning to a life where I have energy, focus, and a stable stomach. I'm impatiently waiting for the second trimester, as is my husband.

Never send a pregnant lady to the grocery store

I am nauseated, yet starving.

I did our weekly grocery store this evening, and I came home with a hundred dollars of... I don't know. Some of the staples of our diet -- like simple brown rice -- made me want to heave. Even bananas and sweet potatoes, my son's favorites, were too much to bear.

But as soon as I saw the Stauffers french bread pizza, the mint chocolate chop ice cream, the teriyaki sauce, I was like... IGOTTAHAVEITRIGHTNOW. I haven't shopped this way since college.

At the start of week 7, I feel like my whole abdomen is full of air bubbles.

Morning sickness can bite me

Some women actually seem to enjoy morning sickness, as if it were a welcome reminder that the little one is healthy and thriving. I, personally, would be fine without this reminder.

My special version of morning sickness is a lot like motion sickness: fatigue, fogginess, and low-grade nausea. I'm not vomiting all the time -- and I feel really bad for those who do -- but it's still enough to paralyze a person.

Having said that, I've come to treat most of my illnesses the same. Just grin and bear it. Whether it's a cold, or a headache, or nausea, sometimes you just have to focus on daily life until it passes. As odd as it sounds, sometimes I'd rather be at work when the MS hits because then I have no choice but to go about my day. Whereas if I were at home, I would curl up in a ball on the couch and spend the day chanting "woe is me". And that's no good for anyone.

Forces of nature

By "Forces of Nature", I'm referring to Hurricane Irene which is bearing down on North Carolina as well as the destructive power of a toddler. Our responses have been the same to both: stock the pantry, rent a couple good movies, and cultivate loads of patience.

Belly photos from week 6... my clothes still fit but I'm feeling really... weird. Like I pigged out at a Thanksgiving buffet, and now need to unbutton my pants and fall asleep on the recliner.

Big bellies and dirty mirrors

There are two things in this photo that shock me. One is how big my belly looks at 6 weeks. The other is how dirty my son's bathroom mirror is. And I'm not sure which bothers me more.

The tough parts of parenting

Parenting has a number of challenges. It's tiring, and expensive. I wish I had more free time. I worry a lot. Getting out the door to go to work is like climbing Everest. (People plan for months or years, but some still don't make it.)

Those are all NOTHING compared to the stress and anxiety of caring for a sick child.

We ended up at an urgent care clinic last night because my son seemed to have, at least in our limited experience, a serious health concern. It turned out to be a relatively minor issue, but for a few hours visions of neurologic and ophthalmologic disorders danced in our heads. No matter what the illness or injury, a parent can feel helpless. Helplessness in the face of your little one's suffering is hell on earth.

Yet, ironically, those are also the moments when I feel most secure in my parenting. Most connected to my husband and our son.

Skinny jeans (and pants)

I could never get into skinny jeans or pants, literally or figuratively. Unless one is tall and thin, like a supermodel, they look so unfortunate.

So you can imagine my horror when I see skinny maternity pants. I can't imagine a more unflattering silhouette for a lovely pregnant woman. A large belly needs balance. We need pants and shoes that lengthen the leg. We need comfort. Skinny jeans and pants are antithetical to balanced proportions.

My opinion probably is the minority since stores continue to make and sell skinny jeans but, at least at the Gap (where I do a lot of shopping), it's always the skinny jeans and pants that are on the clearance rack.

When I'm already feeling pudgy, this is not how I want to represent myself (Photo credit: Gap) ...

Bikinis

I cannot possibly be showing by 5 weeks 4 days, so what is that odd bulge between by hip bones, below my navel??

I may have worn a bikini for the last time this season, and for this pregnancy. (My son's swim classes don't count; I wear an all-utility Speedo flyback tank suit for the Saturday pool gymnastics.) We went to the beach this weekend, and despite the bloating and whatnot, I actually wore a bikini. It would be one thing if I were obviously pregnant, like the gorgeous Carla Bruni. But I just look pudgy.

Gender disappointment

Gender disappointment is a sensitive topic, and I wished it were discussed more. It came up on a message board last night, and the women who were discussing it felt they had to speak (type?) in very guarded terms, as if expressing disappointment in the child's gender reflected negatively on them as parents. I think it's a healthy to thing to be open about and discuss gender roles, gender identification, and gender expectations as we prepare for parenthood, but somehow the subject remains taboo.

I have a little boy, who is the center of my universe. It would be impossible for me to love anyone or anything more than I love him -- and I'd like to think that's true for most parents. But I will admit that I felt an odd twinge of something when the ultrasound technician told us we were expecting a boy. I have a younger sister. I babysat for girls, not boys. All of our adult friends have daughters, not sons. When I imagined motherhood, I saw myself as the mother of a girl. And the mental picture of a little boy never ever occurred to me. Learning that we were having a boy shook my world, and it took me awhile to come to terms with it.

Ironically... now... the reverse is true. Everything I know of motherhood comes from raising a boy, my little bundle of awesomeness. I honestly don't know how I'd feel if we were to have a daughter this time, since my mental picture has done a 180 in the past few years. I would love for my son to have a brother, for the same reasons I'm so grateful to have had a sister in my life.

And we have so many little boy clothes, it would be great if we could reuse them. :)

Belly photos or, to be more accurate, non-belly photos from week 5...

Rough and tumble

My son likes to play a little game called "Monster". He dresses me (or my husband) in whatever weird headdress he can find -- last night it was his old Bumbo sitter, worn upside down on our heads so that we looked like Ferengi from Star Trek, or so my husband tells me -- and has us chase and tickle him. It's an odd game, but I assume all families have one.

As my son and I were playing, I would bend down to tickle him, or he would crawl on my back, or he would throw himself at me... and for the first time I had to tell him to be careful around mommy's belly. He didn't understand, of course, and we haven't told him of his future sibling yet. But it started me thinking about two things. First, there's going to come a time when I will have a much harder time playing physically with my son, cuddling with him, or even just holding him on my lap for bedtime stories. And that makes me sad. Second, he's a very strong, very fast little person. His balance and agility are incredible, too, but I'm mostly worried about his strength and his growing weight. I worry that he could hurt my belly, even just by accident. I wonder if other moms ever think about this while pregnant.

Belly photos

I started taking my belly photos this morning. I felt bloated and crampy, even at less than 5 weeks, so something in me felt compelled to start the photo diary.

And in light of my crampiness and bloatiness, I also bought a couple of Bella Bands. Off eBay. I fear I'm going to need them much sooner than I'd like.

First thoughts on maternity clothes

I started shopping for new maternity clothes months ago. It was all so innocent. I was at the Gap exchanging a pair of non-maternity pants, and I noticed the store had a new maternity section. I went over just to look, and I left the store with 4 maternity tops (for $40).

My husband and I knew we would start trying to conceive in June 2011. So I could sort of justify the purchase. The truth is, I had a pretty awful wardrobe in my first pregnancy. It was an incoherent mishmash of clothes borrowed from friends, clothes bought on sale, and non-maternity clothes I tried to make fit well-past their expiration date. I did alright for the first 20 or 25 weeks, and then both my wardrobe... and my self-esteem... fell apart.

When I very gratefully returned to my non-maternity wardrobe after my son was born, I swore I would do better if we had a second child.

Knowing that I might be pregnant by late summer or early fall 2011, I started shopping sales as early as April and May. Totally premature, I know, but it had the following advantages...

1. I am prepared this time, for whenever the first trimester bloating starts. In fact, I'm so much better prepared that gerry-rigging my clothes with craft tools (e.g., safety pins and rubber bands) may be wholly unnecessary this time.
2. Shopping sales over time enabled me to spread out the expense. I didn't have to cram a multi-hundred-dollar expense into a one- or two-month clothing allowance.
3. Because I could shop slowly, leisurely, I was never desperate to buy anything. I didn't have to cough up for an overpriced pair of work pants or a better-fitting bra. I know exactly what I'll need this time, and I could shop strategically for those things as time and budgets permitted.
4. I was able to take advantage of spring and summer inventories, rather than having to choose my clothing from within one season.

This all might make it sound like I have a whole maternity wardrobe ready to go. I really don't. But I did nail down some key items (like dress pants) at good prices and -- this time -- in the right sizes and styles. Unlike many second-time moms, I don't have the comfort of a tried-and-true wardrobe.

Picture 1 is me on a good day (20 weeks). Picture 2 is me on a not good day (38 weeks, 6 days).

Consignment

If pregnant readers ever wonder, how in the world am I going to afford everything my new baby (who won't stay little for long) needs? My answer is Consignment Sales.

This morning my mother and I went to a big semi-annual consignment fair at our state fairgrounds, hosted by the Triangle Mothers of Twins & Triplets. I've been going since summer 2008, when I was pregnant with my son. They sell anything and everything a new or growing family might need, from children's bed linens and bottles to strollers and artwork. For $71 I bought my son a pair of pull-on rain boots, a pair of snow boots (that might never see the light of day in North Carolina), seven footie pajamas, a winter coat, several zipped sweatshirts, nine books, a couple matching games, a couple of puzzles, and an insulated sippy cup to replace the one he threw down a storm sewer. I love the deals obviously, but I also like reducing consumption and keeping our money in our local economy -- especially with a great organization supporting families.

My mom and I attend this TMOTT sale every season, and I also visit a couple of local brick-and-morter stores (Once Upon a Child and Kid to Kid) as my son needs things throughout the year. Their selection and quality are good. And every dollar I save by buying used is another dollar I can put into my son's 529 plan.

Which bring me to the question... do any women out there have good luck with consignment stores/sales for maternity clothes? I've looked, but it's been a waste of time for me. My theory is that women hold onto their maternity clothes, loaning to friends and family as the need arises, until the clothes are either worn out or too old-fashioned. So not much maternity inventory hits consignment. I wonder if this is true in different regions, or just NC.

So much joy.

Learning one is pregnant for the second time is strange. It's not the shell-shock and thrill we felt in April 2008 when we learned we were expecting our first.

It's more like a soft glow of joy.

Here we go again!

I took a pregnancy test this morning, and it was positive. I am exactly 4 weeks pregnant which, for those in the know, means I've really been pregnant for two weeks.

So how is it that I'm already going pee every 30 minutes?

I heard that lots of things are accelerated in a second pregnancy, but come on.